A few months back I was asked to be a part of a Making Strides Against Breast Cancer video that highlighted what the word “pink” meant to those of us who have been faced with Breast Cancer here in West Michigan. At the time the word pink did symbolize a great deal for me because I was going through the hardest of my treatments, however I don’t think I really understood how impactful the color itself was until this past weekend as I walked in my first ever Making Strides Against Breast Cancer walk. The entire day was amazing. I was surrounded by my family, friends, and a community of supporters who have walked this path before. As we started the walk, a sea of pink lined the streets of Grand Rapids and I realized that seeing a pink ribbon no longer triggered the fear of my reality. In fact the color itself has almost taken on a whole new emotion and lifted me up. It surrounds me like a giant hug and forever changes the way I feel when I see the color pink. It now serves as a reminder that I am not alone in this fight, and most importantly it reminds me that I can win this fight.
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Meet Veronica
15 years ago I was a nanny to this awesome young lady and her sister, 6 years ago my husband and I were honored to have their entire family take part in our wedding, and this month she is honoring me by wearing my name on the back of her “pink” volleyball jersey. Although seeing this photo made me tear up a bit this morning, I could not think of a better photo to wake up too! I feel so blessed to have so many amazing people in my corner.
On To the Next Phase
For nearly 7 months now I have spent at least part of almost everyday at Lemmon Holton Cancer Pavilion but I’m happy to announce that as of today, I am officially done with my hardest treatment phases (chemo and radiation). I am still feeling the effects of the treatment fatigue, my chest, underarm, and back are quite burned from radiation and I am having some pain and mobility loss in my left arm, wrist, and fingers but otherwise I am actually doing quite well and my doctors are very pleased with how I have come out of all of this. At this point, we are really hoping the pain and loss of mobility in my arm are from the 28 radiation treatments that I had, however my Radiation Oncologist is sending me to the Lymphedema Clinic at LH to make sure it’s not the start of Lymphedema. Fingers crossed it is from radiation and it will not be something that I will always have to deal with.
A long Pause
I know it’s been quite a while since I’ve updated and a lot of you have been wondering how I am but, I thought I would take a little social media break after I finished my chemo treatments.
A lot has happened, but the biggest updates are that I had a clean bone scan after bone and joint pain sent me back to my oncologist’s office. And…. I think the chemo is finally getting out of my system because I am feeling much better then I was the last time I posted. I am also over the halfway hump of radiation with only 8 treatments left to complete. I’m still dealing with a lot of weakness and fatigue in addition to the obvious burning from radiation, however I can confidently say that radiation treatments are far more tolerable then chemo.
What Does Pink Mean To You
You can see the chemo effects on me in this video, but both Jordan and I were honored to be apart of this video and are even more honored to be a part of this origination. If you’re looking for an origination to join, I cannot think of one better then The American Cancer Society’s Making Strides Against Breast Cancer.
Race Day: Oct 24th, 2015
#mypersonalpinktime
Chemo Round One
I started my day at Lemmon Holton at 7:15 with a somewhat tearful, very long, tight, and powerful embrace from my biopsy nurse Jan who I now refer to as my sister-like forever-friend. Through her connections I also got to meet with my very first nurse Susan and blessed to have had the opportunity to have a very special conversation with her as she was my diagnosis day one nurse and there with me when I was hit with the news. I also met one other breast care nurse I hadn’t met before who is follow my page and had great things to say before heading up to the 5th floor infusion center. This was exactly what I needed in more ways then I can count.
Sip
Several people have reached out to me over the past few months and suggested I get in contact with Jennifer Masley, the amazing woman that opened Sip Organic juice bar here in Grand Rapids about 4 years ago.
She developed a passion for plant-based, raw foods and juicing in 2008 while involved in triathlon racing, and operating beach bootcamps in south Florida. In search of real, whole foods and unimpressed by the taste, ingredients, and results of common energy bars, she created the Jenergy Bar — the only snack able to meet her high dietary standards and energy needs and she developed many of her recipes while caring for her husband who faced cancer a few years back.
In a twist of fate, like so many things on this journey, Jenn stopped into the East town Location while I was there and was compelled to say hello to me. Within minutes I could tell she was the amazing woman so many had spoke of and the owner of this amazing juice bar.
Well, today I received a card in the mail from this awesome woman that included a $50 gift certificate to Sip. If you’re looking for an immune boosting shot packed full of organic goodness a smoothie packed full fresh ingredients, stop into Sip in Grand Rapids.
Link to website:
http://www.siporganicjuicebar.com/
#mypersonalpinktime #Siporganicjuicebar
A Meeting Full of Questions… A hug full of hope
After my diagnosis things happened so fast and I had so much information thrown at me. I had put my game face on early on in the process and I was able to calmly sit through most appointments with my ears open and my pen ready. I did my best to take it all in and make sense of things but at some point your mind just goes on numb and the words begin to spin around your head. You can hear them, but they no longer make sense. I was OK with not knowing everything in the beginning and I had even made a promise to myself that I would not start researching what was happening to me for fear that the sad stores would bring me down. However, now that I have had some time to let things sink in and I am half way into treatment, I have had a lot of questions as to what my diagnosis really means and what it is that I should be doing so I scheduled an appointment with my nurse practitioner to go over a few side effects I was having and of course to set my mind at ease.
Chemo Day: Round 5
As I sit here plugged in to my migraine drip awaiting the magic medicine that makes me feel so sick, I am thinking of how lucky I am to have the love and support of so many near and far, and I am also thinking of this amazingly courageous and strong young man who has bravely and successfully been kicking cancers butt most of his life. His name is Gage and I have been following his story for years. I do not think it was a coincidence that I was able to meet and get my first photo with him the day before the round I have been dreading so much. Gage thank you for being a true inspiration to me. I’m going to follow your lead in kicking some cancer butt! You are truly amazing!
Truth Time
I have been avoiding an update for some time because I have something to say that is very hard for me to admit. However, I am realizing that my thoughts are very normal thoughts and it might be important for me to share, so here goes…. I am generally a pretty positive and optimistic person and my doctors are VERY confident in my treatment, but I have some fear… ok sometimes a lot of fear that my cancer will return someday and threaten my life. I will say that I try not to get down about this or even focus on it every second of every day, but the truth is it is always in the back of my mind and it doesn’t take much to bring it out. So much to the point that I can no longer read stories in the news about cancer, I don’t like it when people tell me stories about others with cancer unless there is a happy ending, and I no longer like watching TV and movies because there are so many cancer references. It seems like the very word “cancer” has consumed every part of my world so I’ve decided that I need to make a change and it starts right now.