Before I knew it March 2nd was here and I was scheduled to report to Spectrum Butterworth campus at 8:45 to prepare for my 12:00 surgery. I had my friend Sarah, my photographer Sam, and my family with me. We made small talk and joked around while I went through all of my pre-op tests and procedures. I wasn’t nervous for the surgery, I knew I was in good hands, but I could see the worry on my family’s faces and they were all a bit tearful as I was wheeled to the OR. The anesthesiologist assured me I wouldn’t remember anything past this point, but I have very vivid memories of being wheeled into the operating room.
The temperature seemed to drop 10 degrees as I entered the room. I have never been in a room so bright. There were what seems like a dozen people in surgical gear buzzing around me. I remember thinking that the OR did actually look a lot like it does on TV, just way brighter. As they lifted me onto the cold and narrow operating room table and began to strap down my legs I remember saying that I felt like I was being strapped to an execution table. I think it was the meds talking because that is not something I would usually say in a situation like that. As they were instructing me to lay back, I looked up and saw Dr. Melnik my surgical oncologist sitting on a stool about 5 feet in front of me all scrubbed and ready to go. Our eyes locked instantly and I could feel a calmness come over my body. Out of all the doctors and nurses I had met with over the previous week and a half she was the only one I hadn’t really connected with on an emotional level. She was as amazing as everyone said, but as a surgeon I think she had to keep more of an emotional distance. However in that moment I felt a connection. She looked at me with her loving “mom eyes” and slowly nodded her head as if she was saying “I have got this honey…. everything is going to be ok”. That was exactly what I needed. As the nurses stretched my arms out to either side of me and strapped them down the anesthesiologist placed a mask over my face and asked me where I have always wanted to go. I said Hawaii. The last thing I remember is being told that the sand on the beach was red and the water warm to the touch.
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The Surgery took about 5 and a half hours and I spent 3 hours in recovery so it was quite a while before my family got to see that I was doing ok. I woke up to find my beautiful friend Sarah smiling down on me. The look on her face said it all…. She was in it for the long haul. She was there with me when the I received the earth shattering news that would forever change my life and she was there with me as I took the first steps in fighting the cancer that is threaten my life. I feel blessed to have her, my amazing family and an ever growing community of supporters rallying around me as I prepare to kick some serious cancer butt. This journey seems less daunting knowing that I’m not walking down this path alone.