The Big Question

Can I have more children?

I know a lot of you have been wondering and it just makes sense to address this question the day after Mother’s Day, which by the way was a very good day for me. This is a post that I have been wanting to write for a while now. But at the same time it is also a hard one for me to write. The short answer to this question is that we may be able to have another child, but not the traditional way.

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One of the first questions I asked when I was diagnosed was “can I have more children”? Jordan and I had been planning for a 2015 baby so this was very top of mind for me. Outside I may have looked calm, but on the inside I was a wreck. I have been planning baby #2 since Corryn was born. I’m talking… Names picked out and nursery designed in my head planning. Secretly I had even purchased a few things.

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Once Again Lifted

I won’t say today has been a sad day, but it has been kind of a blah day. It’s dark and dreary outside, I had to say goodbye to my sweet little girl for a few days, I’m officially really losing my hair…. And it’s going fast. So I may have been a little less peppy today. Until now.

I’m sitting here at the Spectrum Lemon Holton infusion center, reading Crazy Sexy Cancer by Kris Carr, which is very good by the way… and chatting with my amazing chemo infusion nurse Seay, when one of the other nurses hands me a little gift that was dropped off for me. In a pink bag of course.

My new friend Kim, whom I have not met in person, but is following this page and going through all of this newly diagnosed “breast cancer” stuff along with me; heard I wasn’t sleeping so she put together an essential oil cream to help me. Plus she paired it with this awesome card. To further that literally 5 minutes later a new and wonderful chemo buddy Ann brought me over a pink ribbon pin and the gift of her optimistic conversation. Oddly I had been planning to purchase a pin for my chemo bag so Ann was just inside my head today.

I honestly cannot believe how amazing my support system is. I do feel the love and my pep is back.

‪#‎mypersonalpinktime

The Experience I feared the most

TammyHair_023_1140‪So yesterday was a big day for me. I started my day at infusion getting hydration and stomach meds, which always makes me, feel better but I then headed to Pure Salon to see the Beautiful Adrienne and Angela to have not only my make-up done and my head shaved…. Yes shaved in prep for loosing it in the coming week. But we were also going because my dear friend Sarah Keast was chopping her hair with me to donate it in my honor. I know I have a good 5-7 more days of hair days being that I just started chemo but I decided I wanted to do this on my own terms and that I wanted to try to donate my hair if I could. I was a mix of emotions including scared, but it actually went ok. My support system makes it fun.‬

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code red

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A Scary Day for Tam and For Those of us Who Love Her
Hey everybody this is Jordan, Tammy’s husband. Tammy is back in the hospital again. She passed out a couple times yesterday afternoon and when I brought her in to the ER her blood pressure was 60/40. Very low. Within a few minutes of bringing her in the nurses were yelling CODE RED and stripping her clothes and shoes off as fast as they could. The scariest part for me was seeing a few nurses get a crash cart ready. Luckily they were able to bring her numbers up without having to use it. They admitted her last night and have been giving her IV meds and fluids around the clock, which seems to be helping. Her color is much better and she is getting more stable on her feet. She has an echo scheduled for 10:30 this morning. Keep her in your thoughts.

#‎mypersonalpinktime

Rough Few Days

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The past few days have been pretty rough. All of the infection and hormone mediation that I have been on has made it hard for me to eat or drink much thus making me really shaky, weak and just over all crumby feeling. Yesterday I saw my surgical oncologist and my plastic surgeon among a few others and all were very worried that I was a tad too malnourished and dehydrated so I after talk of admitting me again they decided I could just do outpatient fluids with IV medication however right as I finished that part up and got ready to head home I started experiencing VERY severe pain in my left breast that was almost shooting through my chest. Read More

Finally Home

I was released from Spectrum Blodgett Campus tonight, but was in a way released on red alert because my infection is not 100% out of my system. After surgery infections do not happen often, however they do happen and unfortunately I fell into that small statistic. Both my goal and my surgeon’s goal is to take care of this infection without having to remove my left breast tissue expander/spacer, so I left the hospital with two VERY strong antibiotics and a very determined mindset. It is my job to now become the “hypochondriac” that I have never wanted to be for the next 48 hours and call my surgeon if I notice or feel anything different before I see her in her office this Wednesday. The worst-case scenario would be for this infection to get worse and require the emergency removal of my expander so please keep your fingers crossed for me.

It’s good to be home and in my own bed, but I must again send a huge “thank you” to Dr Timek for making herself available to me on her weekend and to all of my doctors and nurses at Spectrum Blodgett for taking such amazing care of me over the past few days

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Before Diagnosis: Personal Cause Related Design Work

Since I slept about 16 hours yesterday/today due to being medicated in the hospital, I am now awake and wanting to share. Although I have a growing list of topics I want to write and post both on here and on the blog that I have in the works, I thought I would first talk about another odd or “meant to be” moment that happened in the weeks leading up to my diagnosis.

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While I was in Design School at Kendall College of Art and Design oh so many years ago, I fell love with many breast cancer organizations like the Susan G. Komen organization and the pink ribbon association, because of my personal connection in loosing my very inspirational aunt. However because of how young I was at the time, I was personally touched by the mission of an organization called Boarding for Breast Cancer that is geared to informing a much younger audience on not only the risks and possible precautions to take in preventing breast cancer, but also on how to be proactive in early detection as well. During that time, I designed a poster campaign that won me a handful of local/regional design awards and I did get in contact with B4BC as well. (A big thank you to my former snowboarder college roommate and friend Margret for showing me this site and getting me involved so many years ago)

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Day 3 at Blodgett for Infection #2

They have been continuously pumping me full of very strong IV antibiotics. The good news is that my infection has not worsened; however it also not improved much, which is somewhat concerning. The plan as of now is that my surgeon will re-assess in the morning on whether or not I need surgery. So I’m here for at least another 24 hours. If it hasn’t gotten better by morning I will be having surgery tomorrow to remove the expander/ spacer. And if I get lucky and it has improved I will be released on high level alert to watch for any signs of redness and/or pain so I can get back here to have it removed. Fingers crossed it improves.

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Above and Beyond

Everyone is going above and beyond to make me feel both and supported right now, but especially this wonderful brother in law of mine! He was already traveling from Atlanta to Indiana for work but he went a good 4+ hours out of this way to stop in and surprise little old me. My sis hit the jackpot with this one, but then he did as well. I love you Pauly.

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