Author: admin

False Progress

by admin

I was really impressed with the fact that I was actually able to fall asleep during a medical appointment for oh 3.5 minutes during today’s… Correction yesterday’s acupuncture clinical trial appointment. That was until it occurred to me that those three minutes of sleep tricked my body into believing it had gotten a full nights sleep.

So here I lay; with bloodshot and burning eyes, very achy joints and muscles, and a mind that is going a mile a minute. After several failed attempts to “power down” my body and my mind, I am now watching HGTV reruns and dreaming up passion projects, all while wondering if I should just fully give in, get out of bed, and write. I’m mean really, if I’m going to be awake all night, I should at least have progress to show for it right?

Early menopause induced insomnia and joint pain is the worst. Here comes sleep medication round two. Fingers crossed

‪#‎imtooyoungformenopause‬ ‪#‎insomniastinks‬
‪#‎mypersonalpinktime‬

Officially home

by admin

So we are officially on our way home from the airport and I see this on Facebook. No offense to my favorite person, but I think Ellen may have been a little tired or even a bit hung over after the Grammys. Don’t get me wrong, Tuesday’s show was awesome. I mean really, I got to see Ellen and the sexiest dad alive up close. But as I sit here laughing my butt off I’m realizing that Ellen was far more serious then she typically is when I was there. So in a completely grateful and appreciative way, I must say that the stars aligned for me to get tickets to Ellen’s show on the one year anniversary of the first day I was told I had cancer, which still gives me the chills, but they might have aligned a tad bit incorrectly. I think I was supposed to be at this show that was taped on the 17th, the one year anniversary of my biopsy (which could be argued as the actual day I was diagnosed smile emoticon, not only to see Adele and make both of my goals for 2016 come true, but also to see Ellen doing something so funny that not even she couldn’t hold it together. My stomach hurts I’m laughing so hard. I love Ellen.
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‪#‎mypersonalpinktime‬
#‎ellenandadeleprankjambajuice‬

Special Surprise Gone Viral

by admin

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As most of you know, a very big dream of mine is coming true in a few days as I head to Burbank, CA to attend a live taping of the Ellen show with my very dear heart friend, Vicki, well a pretty special friend and former teacher who has become family over the years set out to make my trip a little more special.

She secretly enlisted the help of her niece Nicole and her friend Hannah to put a video together to send to Ellen asking her to take a Selfie with Vicki and I. Knowing that she cares about me enough to step out of her comfort zone and do something like this, means the world to me and the video alone is a very special gift. However things got a little more special today. Ok things got flat out crazy today. I can’t share a the details of what happened today, however I can share this. Fox 17 West Michigan, got wind of this my friend Alice’s video and contacted me to see if I would do an interview with them. Just like the interview back in March they were at my house with a camera crew in less then 45 minutes.

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A day full of appointments

by admin

Today was full of appointments. I started off with a little post surgery Physical therapy. Ok a lot of post surgery Physical therapy. I love Amy, but my the cording in my arm, chest, and neck do not. We are making progress and even broke one of the cords today…. I’m not going to lie and tell you that wasn’t painful. But, Like many things, I’m realizing this is physical recovery is going to be a long process. From there I met with a very special past nurse and got to chat with a very special previous doc for a bit as well, and then left for my plastic surgery appointment.

My surgeon made my day by telling me that I’m one of her most inspiring patients. Little does she know, she’s pretty amazing herself. It’s a funny feeling to know that your doctors are following your posts, but I only have great things to say about everyone on my medical team so the more I think about it, I am glad that they stop in from time to time to hear that they are loved. It’s so important to feel good about your medical team. I feel pretty blessed to have each and everyone of them in my corner.

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In honor of World Cancer Day…

by admin

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I would like to encourage every woman out there to do a self-breast exam.

BREAST CANCER REALLY CAN HAPPEN TO ANYONE…. The truth is not all women diagnosed with this awful disease are over the age of 50… over the age of 40… or even over the age of 20. Despite what we are often lead to believe, not all women who are diagnosed with breast cancer have a family history of the disease. Not all women diagnosed live an unhealthy lifestyle that includes low activity levels, overeating, smoking, or even the heavy consumption of alcohol. The harsh reality is; sometimes women who think they are doing everything right to take care of themselves and their bodies, still get breast cancer.

I am that person. I never thought it would happen to me, but I was diagnosed with breast cancer at age 33. I do not have a family history of the disease. I very rarely have a drink. I have never smoked and I stay pretty active. I knew the risks and I lived by them, yet it still happened to me. I am proof that breast cancer can happen to anyone, and more importantly, I am proof that breast cancer can happen to you.

In honor of those of us who are fighting and those who can no longer fight, I encourage you to be proactive in your own health and push those you love to do the same. No matter how old you are, it is important that you know your body, that you check yourself often, and that you ask your doctor to preform a routine breast exam, men included.

Early detection really does save lives.

‪#‎mypersonalpinktime‬ ‪#‎worldcancerday‬

Ellen here we come: A Journey 5 Years in the Making

by admin

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Have you ever had a moment where it seems like the entire universe aligned around you and something that you really wanted to happen but never thought was possible…. actually happened? It doesn’t seem real yet, but this is happening to me. As most of you know my journey with breast cancer really started when my Aunt Pam was diagnosed and lost her battle when I was in high school. Not many people know this, but when she passed away, I made a promise to myself and to her that I would someday honor her by getting involved with the cause. I did a few awareness campaigns while I was in college, but I didn’t really feel like I was making a difference until 2011, when Vicki and I came together to create a campaign to nominate Vicki to be a guest on the Ellen DeGeneres show and fulfill her wish to share her breast cancer story with the world. Since Vicki had referred to her time with breast cancer as her “pink time” we decided to create a “pink time” facebook page to rally support for her wish. “Pink Time” first became the reference used when discussing her journey with Family and Friends. As well, being the reference to the singer “PINK” whose music provided courage and strength while the chemo drugs were being pumped into her body. Our efforts weren’t enough to get Vicki on the show that October, but a very beautiful friendship was born between the two of us.

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taking my life back

by admin

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What does the phase “taking my life back” really mean to someone who has or is facing Cancer

This is actually a post that I wrote most of, this past summer and couldn’t bring myself to post until I found it again overtaking my thought process.

So here’s some truth. The phrase “I cannot wait to take my life back, doesn’t mean exactly what you think it does, or there is at least a whole lot more to it then you think. As a breast cancer patient, we don’t really have to tell you about the obvious things that we are longing to put behind us, like wanting to have hair again, wanting to spend less time at the hospital or at doctors visits, being able to raise our arms above our head again, being able to plan for things without taking future surgeries and hospital stays into account, having two breasts, being able to buy an age-appropriate bra outside of a mastectomy fitting room at the cancer center, and most of all being able to play with your child without feeling winded, overcome with exhaustion, pain, shortness of breath, or fatigue. The truth is some of this will get better in time, and some of it won’t, but when I say that I cannot wait to take my life back, I mean so much more then all this.

The honest and real truth is that the hardest parts to “take back” so to speak, are most often the parts that we choose not to tell anyone about. Like the fact that you completely lose the ability to relate to “normal people” including your family and your closest friends, that you really no longer know how to have fun because you find it really hard to separate yourself from the new fear-based cancer version of yourself, and most importantly that you feel extremely isolated and alone at times even when you have the biggest support system and you are surrounded by family and friends that love you, because it’s not possible for others to understand where you are at mentally and emotionally unless they have been there themselves.

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My very first Shaping a Pure Salon

by admin

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After a very intense 2-hour physical therapy session at Lemmon Holten to start stretching and breaking up some cording and tightness in my left shoulder, torso, and arm that has worsened since my surgery, I headed over to Pure Salon for my first haircut… ok let’s not get ahead of ourselves it was more of a shaping but it still felt good to sit in a salon chair again.

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Moving past the fear of getting “too close”

by admin

Moving past the fear of getting “too close”, and learning to be “at peace” with saying goodbye. When you’re diagnosed with something as scary as cancer a external transformation obviously happens as you progress through treatments and surgeries, however what those who haven’t experienced it personally may not realize is that an internal transformation also happens as well. In a sense you almost become a super human version of yourself. Every sense, every feeling, every fear, and every perception is heightened to the max and you are all of a sudden aware of everything around you to an extreme you have never experienced… the good and the bad. I have come to accept this transformation as a gift. Unlike most, I now see the beauty in even the dreariest days, I appreciate the littlest moments, and I take the time to be grateful for each and every day I have here, however there was a point about half way through my treatment where this transformation put me in a very fragile emotional state and almost made me withdraw from everything that I am and everyone that I cared about. I even withdrew from “My Personal Pink Time” for a while. I never thought I would actually explain why, however the conformation of some news that I have been dreading, has left me with a need to share.

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